Zombies are starting to take over all right, just not in the running-people-down-and-eating-them kind of way that they do in the movies. Instead, today’s zombies are attacking where it really hurts: your wallet.
Companies haven’t hesitated in taking advantage of the zombie trend. While some zombie enthusiasts have been able to pick up some cool new gear as part of this rise in popularity, there are a number of zombie-inspired products that even die-hard fans may find surprising.
Take a look at some of the times you can incorporate these unique zombie products into your daily routine… if you dare.
Snack Time
For those of you who can watch a zombie show and somehow still manage to have an appetite, try indulging in one of the zombie snacks from Harcos Inc the next time your cravings hit. Their zombie line includes “Crusty Zombie Toenails” (a puffed wheat snack), “Little Old Zombie Moles” (dried berries), “Zombie Jerky” (beef jerky), and “Zombie Pea Brains” (wasabi peas), among others.
While zombies aren’t picky about their diet, the living tend to have restrictions or preferences when it comes to food. Not to worry: Kitchen Overlord created a recipe for “Vegan Zombie Jerky, made from pumpkin, cinnamon, and a dab of food coloring.
Happy Hour
Some companies take years to develop a catchy concept that will get people interested in their project, especially within the highly saturated alcohol industry. So instead of competing with companies that market their products on the idea of celebrating life, Braided Oak Spirits found the undead to be an untapped market.
Case in point: They launched Zombie Apocalypse Vodka in October 2012. While a betting man will say the vodka would taste harsh, bitter, or any other flavor that would leave drinkers dying for a chaser, it’s actually rather smooth, made from soft white winter wheat with hints of vanilla. There may not be anything particularly haunting about the vodka itself, but there are several interesting mixing recipes on the site. Favorites include “Necrophilia” (vodka, peach schnapps, cranberry and pineapple juice) and “The Zombie Chill Chaser,” (vodka, apple cider, cinnamon, nutmeg).
Plus their commercial is so bad it’s almost good. Given their product, it was likely intentional.
Story Time
What would a zombie fan be without their hundred dollar Zombie Survival Crate? Not only does the package from Man Crates contain a first aid kit, flashlight, SPAM, and a 10″ machete, it also includes the bestselling book Zombie Survival Guide. Lull yourself to sleep at night learning how to properly decapitate the undead.
Also, just in time for the holiday season, Antarctic Press Publishing has released a new addition to the graphic novel series A Very Zombie Christmas. Issues 1-5 take place in a fantasy world where a nuclear accident is responsible for turning the people into decaying denizens. The white winter wonderland is artistically decorated in blood and brain matter to really make the scenery pop, and if you’ve never seen a zombie Santa chowing down on the arm of a victim, now’s your chance.
Bone O’Clock
Experts at Adam and Eve have worked hard to take away the stigma of sex toys. They call them “crucial” to a healthy sex life and are constantly reassuring buyers that enjoying toys is 100% healthy and completely normal. All that being said, a zombie dildo probably isn’t what they had in mind, nor is it helping their crusade to make sex toys appeal to everyone.
According to The Needs, realistic undead dongs were being sold by Walgreens. That’s right, Walgreens—the same place that your grandma gets her heart medicine. The sexual wellness toy has a ragged-looking design to mirror that of the undead with “patented real feel superskin,” as boasted on the product description.
Since news of the product went viral, it has been taken off the site. The reason for the removal, however—be it Walgreens deeming the product inappropriate or hardcore zombie fetishists buying them up—is unknown.
If you’re looking for the line that defines the difference between a zombie enthusiast and zombiephile, that last one definitely crosses it.
is a completely new take on the zombie genre. Rather than seeing an outbreak of monsters, we join humankind after the apocalypse has past. People are trying to get on with their lives, and a new drug – Pacifier 6 – has enabled zombies to be pacified and used as a workforce. However, not all of the undead have entirely lost their former consciousness, and some are seeking a way to break out and create a new race.
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Geoff Wakeling 